KINDA DUMB

What's up with bugs flying into bright lights? Think about it: you turn on the porch light in what was a perfectly dark space, and here come the little flying bugs. Some are actually large flying bugs.

Well, honestly? They don't come right away. They wait for the light bulb to get hot - even more stupid of them. Once the bulb is hot, the bugs - and notice it doesn't matter whether the bug is a teeny gnat-like thing, or a large B-52 skeeter - fly directly at, if not into, the light bulb. In some cases, it kills them instantly. In others, they have to keep hitting the light bulb, like... to the point of bouncing against it, until they get it right, which, of course, means adios.

Jesus. Could you imagine doing that?

I never did well in science class, so I don't remember if we covered the subject of bugs hitting light bulbs at night, so forgive me. If we covered it, did anyone in class ask why just at night? I mean, during the day, at least, one might presume the light bulb isn't hot. But no. It's always at night.

Last night on my back porch, late, I turned on the big macho car-headlight-thing facing the woods, just for a minute, and "whoooooosh..." here come a bunch of different kinds of flying bugs, as if they were all out there waiting in the dark, whispering, "when's he gonna turn on the big car-headlight-thing so we can fly headfirst into it?"

Do you think they know that if they do, then tomorrow there's no more light-bulb-kamakaze-missions? (is that how you spell kamakaze? apparently it's how I do.)

Maybe they think a light bulb is the sun, kinda dumb, but a hunch. Even then, as much as we like the sun, would you fly right into it? Face first? And, assuming you got away with this once, or even twice, would you keep doing it over and over, bouncing off of it until your long, skinny legs kinda bend at 45 degrees and your little mesh-like bug wing gets all crumply?

Then go do it all over again? Whatsupwithdoinghtat?

To makes matters worse, when dog Barry's on the back porch at night, he jumps at the larger flying bugs as they approach the light over the back porch door, and he tries to catch them in his mouth. Even this doesn't deter the bug. Could you imagine wanting to fly into a large, blinding, burning hot object, while a large carnivorous animal tries to eat you?

The light bulb's oblivious. The dog's having a blast. The bug? Not smart. Not fun, even.  Meanwhile, doggie's in 7th heaven wondering why he got so lucky as to have: a. a new game that came seemingly out of nowhere; b. something to do - anything; and c. another odd, unknown thing to eat, then figure out later if it's worth it. (The other day Barry threw up two rocks each more than an inch deep, and what looked like a tiny rug sample. Not good, yet still above the food chain from the kamakaze bug.)

Maybe the light-bulb-flying-into-thing's in a bug's DNA, keeping their masses in check. Us? We don't do that. We human beings do some seriously stupid shit, for sure, but going cheek-to-cheek with a hot floodlight isn't one of them, and for that I'm grateful...